The Light at the End of the Tunnel

I am finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel with the post partum depression....my ultimate goal though....to be out of this tunnel altogether. This has been a long, painful journey...but "whatever doesn't break you, makes you stronger", right? It has been like being on an emotional rollercoaster. After having more education on PPD by reading other women's blogs, as well as having some supportive, courageous women come forth with sharing their own unique post partum experiences, I realized I wasn't so alone with what I have been dealing with emotionally. It would help other women going through this, as I feel it has helped me, to have this courageous and non-judgemental support continue to examplify towards releasement of the stigma and isolation that is felt with post partum depression.

I would like to address how much of a role good support can play into effective treatment of PPD. Luckily, I have had some good support from my husband, my family, and my husband's family....as well as certain good friends too that were very caring, insightful, and loving at a time of great need for it. I very much appreciate all the support I have received along the way. I did also face others who were not very supportive, judgemental, insensitive, or lacked in understanding. I began to realize that it would ultimately come down to finding the strength in myself...very hard to do in this vulnerable time...and I feel God played a big role in bringing me to this particular level. I will continue working on this spirituality, as it has made such a big impact on my recovery.

There are many key factors necessary in good treatment for PPD...medications, therapy, etc...but everyone's particular PPD case is a different scenario...so what works for one person, may not work for another. I think recovery involves a total package...therapy, medications if needed and exercise for me was key in trying to achieve balance...as well as sleep, diet, etc. Harder said than done, especially for moms of infants...but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. So if anyone is struggling with post partum depression...you definetely don't see the light for what seems like eternity...but have faith because with the right balance of the key factors I previously mentioned, you will find it eventually and will slowly find yourself again.

For me exercise is huge because it releases endorphins....those feel good brain chemicals...which can help with your ability to combat daily stresses, as well as give you the well needed energy that you're lacking. This has proven to work well for me, as exhibited by the way I feel immediately after a work out....huge fluctuation in endorphins!! I will always continue to exercise for as long as I can, as it has been a huge aspect in the PPD treatment for me. I will not give up the fight...even though some days are still really tough...I am "keeping my eye on the prize"....to get the hell out of this tunnel for good and put this bad experience behind me once and for all.

Breaking the Silence

Today, is a day of clarity and self awareness for me, and this realization has driven me to want to make a difference in other's awareness of postpartum depression... and what a girl never tells. For so long, our society has put such a stigma on mental disorders, and with Postpartum Depression being so common for many women...why the silence anymore?? It's time others have more compassion and understanding of various disorders like this...and I am on a mission to make this happen.

I would not feel so strongly about this, if I hadn't just been to hell and back myself. The experience I just lived, no one should have to live through on their own. Now in my present state of mind of clarity, see myself in a whole different light, and am ready to confront and put behind me, this battle with my own emotions that I have been facing for so many months now...and in the end...if it helps and gets through to even just one person ...I will feel gratified.

I want to be heard and understood...but realize that may never happen with many...but for the few of you out there that do have the emotional intelligence to comprehend this, I choose to continue. I have gained much strength and insight from my experience, but have suffered deeply along the way. I have, without my understanding, felt this strong sense of spiritual guidance, that has given me that hand needed to pull me out of the deep hole I had been thrown into with the hardships of postpartum depression.

I decided to let go of my faith in other people so much to help fix my problems, and opened my heart and soul up to the unknown sense of spirituality that had, as though it seemed, to all of a sudden enter my life amidst the turmoil. It was then, that I knew in my heart and soul...as I have never felt so awakened in my whole life...that we are not alone inside in this journey of life and all we have to do to gain this spirituality and inner strength, is truly open up our hearts and mind, and have faith in the power and love of God.

Today is the day that I've decided, to start sharing with other's my experiences with postpartum depression and break the silence I have been living with these past months. I am driven to help spread the word about how I feel having faith in God can help with all healing processes, in those that believe and decide to truly open up their hearts to God's power and love.